|
The
Clothing Chronicles ================================================
In This Issue: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hope you're all enjoying the summertime, with plenty of good times, good friends, and good food. Funny how summer seems to pass so quickly while cold, dreary winters seem to drag on forever. Or is it just me? Thanks again to everyone who wrote about their favorite shopping tricks for avoiding the mall after the last issue, "How To Shop When You HATE To Shop," http://www.theclothingchronicles.com/archives/146-07082004.htm The big secret? Shop online or by mail order. Once you find a retailer that suits you, it's simply a matter of picking up a phone or clicking on a link to get great pieces delivered to your doorstep. It's a trend that's sweeping the world, according to industry reports. 80% of women with Internet access have shopped for clothes online in the last year citing selection, low prices, and convenience as their primary reasons for using the web. Speaking of shopping online, be sure to check out the special deal offered by one of your fellow subscribers, Alice Asquith. Alice is a designer from London who has achieved what many of you may be secretly dreaming of doing: she traded in her stressful media job to work at home and design clothes. Today, just two years after launching her company, ASQUITH, Alice's line of yoga and Pilates wear has been featured in over 70 magazines including Vogue, The Times, Red, Marie Claire, Ok!, Zest and Shape, and has gained a strong following among fitness professionals and from celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna, and Victoria Beckman. If you're in the market for comfortable, good-looking workout gear, take a look. Alice is offering a special 20% discount to subscribers of The Clothing Chronicles from now until August 1st. See ad for details. So what's on tap for today's article? What your clothing reveals about you. The answers may surprise you. Enjoy!
Diana P.S. If you're enjoying your subscription to THE CLOTHING CHRONICLES and think some of your friends my like it too, please feel free to forward it to them, fully intact. Thanks! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What Do Your Clothes Say About You? One of the moms at my girls' summer camp ranks among the chicest women I know. With her dark hair pulled into a low ponytail, her Jackie-O sunglasses hiding her eyes, and the sleeveless tops that show off her well-toned arms, she looks like she stepped out of the pages of Harper's Bazaar. Yet at the same time, there's an air of unfussiness about her, as if her appearance is the last thing on her mind. Then there's another mom I know who usually looks like a rumpled bed. Unkempt hair, no makeup, ill-fitting, non-descript clothes - she too gives the impression that her appearance is the last thing on her mind. So guess which one has the better-paying job, the nicer car, and the better address? Yep, the first one. Curiously, once you get to know them, you begin to see a lot of similarities between the women: both are intelligent, well educated, and articulate. Yet while you can instantly surmise as much from looking at Mom #1, you really have to pry the information out of Mom #2 - an exercise that frankly, most people won't bother to do. So what's my point? People accord you the same respect you accord yourself. Every time you get dressed and leave the house, you telegraph key pieces of information about yourself, including your education level, your approximate wealth, and even your feelings of self-worth. All by the clothes you choose and the manner in which you wear them. If your head's up, your shoulders are squared, and you're in fashionable attire appropriate to the situation, you'll be regarded as being "on the ball" - even if you're not. Conversely, if you walk around with slumped shoulders, poorly-fitting clothes, and a haircut that's decades out of style, you'll give the impression that you're careless and behind the times - even if you're not. Is that fair? Of course not. Yet making snap assessments of other people based on how they look is a survival technique we learned long ago that's still reliable today. Ever felt nervous and clutch your purse closer when you discovered you were being followed by a group of unkempt young males on the sidewalk or in a parking lot? It's that sixth sense, alerting you to potential danger. But it doesn't just show up to warn you of trouble. It's constantly there, always monitoring and assessing. And it's amazing what can pop up on your radar, once things seep into your sub-conscious. Ever bought a new car and suddenly notice how many of that model are on the road? It's because you're focusing on it. It's the same with people. We set certain standards for ourselves when seeking a new car, a new house, or new clothes; we do the same when we're looking for friends, partners, or new hires. Those who meet our standards pop up on our radar; those who don't are filtered out. People who excel in their appearance and demeanor tend to be noticed more easily than those who don't. Research indicates time and again that how you present yourself plays a significant role in how you're perceived and treated by others, yet to look at any crowd, you'd never guess that was the case. Slumped shoulders, non-descript clothes, body parts showing that should be kept under wraps - it's a mess out there, yet only a handful seems to care. So what's going on? If I had to pinpoint a cause, I'd say it's because so many people suffer from low self-esteem that it's preventing them from realizing their potential - all for the want of few good clothes. Social psychologist Abraham Maslow defined the problem succinctly with his Hierarchy of Needs model in the 1940's. If it's been a while since you've studied this or if you've never heard of it, let me give you a quick summary: In trying to understand human behavior, Maslow developed a theory that people are motivated by unsatisfied needs. Once basic needs are met (food, shelter), people set their sights on higher needs (love, recognition), until all their needs are met and they begin to seek their purpose in life. He further argued that man is basically good and trustworthy and only results to deviant behavior when he can't meet his needs by other means.
Here are Maslow's five categories of needs:
According to Maslow, most people in developed countries tend to get stuck in either the belonging or the self-esteem phase. Few succeed in becoming self-actualized (only about 2% of the population, according to Maslow). We all experience different levels of the hierarchy at different points in our life, depending on what's going on. For example:
So what does all of this have to do with getting dressed and out the door in the morning? A lot. How we present ourselves to the world often mirrors our self-image, as I said before. Yet in a cruel irony, we often go to extremes to meet those needs but in such a way that we repel them instead. The resulting failure is what has kept psychiatrists fat and happy for the last 125 years, as people try to figure out where they went wrong. For example:
Did anyone have an "Ah HA!" moment? I hope so. Yes, I realize this is kind of weighty stuff this late in the week, but I continue to be amazed by how often we sabotage our goals without thinking. There are plenty of people who do A-level work, but they act and dress like C-level workers. So if it looks like a duck and acts like a duck, then it must be a duck, right? There are also people who do C-level work but dress like A-level workers. They're frauds and they know it, and they get very defensive whenever they think you suspect it as well. Most self-destruct within a short time, because they're unable to maintain the ruse. The majority of people spend their lives in B, C, and D land, working, dressing, and acting at one particular level. They may want more - or not - but don't take the necessary steps to upgrade their skills or image. Very few people authentically work, dress, and act at the A-level, which is why they tend to stand out. Audrey Hepburn, Cary Grant, Grace Kelly, and Jacquelyn Kennedy Onassis are some of the most famous in this rarefied group. So too, is the chic woman about whom I began this article. If you suspect that your skills and abilities are out of sync with your appearance, correct the situation. Once you make the inside (your skills and abilities) match the outside (your image), you'll quickly see a change in how people treat you, because of how you treat yourself. Your self-esteem will skyrocket because of the validation, and before you know it, you'll become acutely aware of your own abilities and begin wondering what else you can do, if you set your mind to it. Strive for self-actualization. You may actually hit your mark.
************** Until next time,
Diana Pemberton-Sikes
http://www.FashionForRealWomen.com ------------------------ Published by:
Top Drawer
Publications, LLC Copyright © 2004 by Diana Pemberton-Sikes All rights reserved. |
|
© 2004
Top Drawer Publications, LLC
All rights reserved.
256 S. College
Avenue • Newark, DE 19711
Phone/Fax
302-266-0156 • Email: sales@topdrawerpublications.com